daily events fleetingly illuminated 

by a sunbeam reflected on the string of pearls

that I wear under my veil of darkness;

you have to work for a living, i tell myself in the mirror;

stern clouds stare at me through the window;

you need un projet de vie, a viable plan in the competitive job market.

there’s no fire in you - stop wasting your time daydreaming;

you’re just a thinking animal fighting for survival  - we all are.

the thinking part is seldom of any use:

it breeds sadness, disenchantment, screams stuck in your throat;

sometimes even madness - a kind of toxic excitement

that grows black roots in your mind;

hundreds of dead wings are buried

deeper and deeper in your dreams, choking reality;

a keen self-awareness may yet save you

but how can you lift the curtain of smoke and deceit?

oh, the squalor and suffering they have wrought:

those who knew nothing, those of little faith;

there was a time when gods were walking among us;

now we feed on their ashes.

shadows rushing in dark gardens,

a breathless fall into abysmal waiting;

scent of blood and rotten apples in the air;

my father’s ghost rides a spider-horse

and pierces the night with a shimmering arrow;

his eyes are closed but his purple lips move:

“we must dissent from apathy,

we must dissent from fear,” he whispers 

into the white cups of the lilies;

roses tremble, starlings fall from the sky,

butterflies melt on the cold leaves.

a sinkhole opens at my feet.

“forgive my transgression -

shadows must not speak,” he repents

under the bloated moon.

road of no return, receive my father

the pale, the restless, the brave.

if only he knew! they never saw me;

they only saw what i can do for them;

father, i am afraid no more.

the vessel is frail

but the wave everlasting -

behold the kingdom of god:

silence, bright quasars, expanding void.

je rêve d’un monde uni, fraternel, juste…

i’m ready to travel as far as it takes

to discover it, i know it in my heart…

from the sky dark water pours

over the meadow, over the villages;

rivers overflow and swallow the roads;

anchors have come adrift;

my little mud cottage was carried away

and all there was in it broke and scattered …

perhaps i’ll have to postpone my voyage

until the moon rises above the waters

and beckons me to come out of hiding.