a good summer

it was a beautiful summer - the anguish healed by a deeper acceptance of all that was wrong in my world - my mother says that acceptance is not resignation but the beginning of a new voyage -

my mother the wind, the stars -

at midnight ghosts rush in and fill the old clock with whispers and rustle and my cocoon of fear becomes a cradle of memories;

the big entrance door of our house is once again a whole tree in the garden 

and the key a bird with colorful feathers;

don’t knock, don’t call

I’ll never let you in…


 


think, butterfly

remember your cocoon of fear?

you were wondering whether

you would emerge a butterfly

or wither and die;

spring always decides for you:

eyes shut,

wings not yet ready -

just threads of silk and hope

tying the knot around your frail secrets;

you wait to awake,

you dread the change

yet know it begins;

in your slumber you dream

always the same dream:

your wings grow and grow

until they turn into a wall of black leaves:

muted cries,

words that never carried thoughts

entombed in its dense foliage,

weighing you down -

you are no longer a butterfly 

but an unnamed body with a fluttering heart:

flying is just another 

endless sinking…



back to brokenness

breathing blackness,

lungs filled with nightmares,

scorpions of fear on my neck,

tongue tasting bittersweet enchantment -

inky night going up in smoke,

dark leeches feeding

on the liquid silence;

only loneliness is solid:

a black glass pyramid

full of white lilies and

fragrant lies.

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