letting go is the hardest

when hope swells in your chest like a beehive;

transfixed by illusions the mask grows and hardens

polished, smooth, “comme il faut” - 

you can barely breathe

yet you’re proud you fit in.

this is order and its face is frightening:

the invisible code of chaos is hiding 

beneath the graceful handwriting.

before it all began

there was a luminous stillness

a dancing silence -

unfathomable merry-go-round of endless

possibilities;

my friend Marvin always said

things are not what they appear to be -

hope is a drag, the dopamine of the ignorant;

demonology, clairvoyance, blind faith are

butter popcorn for the theatre of fools;

dissonant tunes numb fears and vanities;

armies of idiots march proudly,

shouting their right to be happy,

to kill, destroy, consume, multiply.

oh, loving humankind shouldn’t be so hard!

old homeless Marvin once a code breaker 

of encrypted life forms and secret writings from other worlds,

now rummaging through the garbage bin - 

he knows who they are, what they do:

“they’re grasping in the dark at whatever they can reach -

they’re not avoiding the crash -

just slowing down the fall.”